The Stars Aligned: How Your Partner’s
Birth Chart Affects You
For most people, astrology is a simple, fun topic of discussion when hanging out with friends. And honestly, it is meant to be that way even if most people only know their sun signs. However, if you want the 4-1-1 on why you’ve had so many failed relationships or mishaps along the way, looking into your partner’s birth chart is the way to go. For those who don’t know, a birth chart contains coordinates of all the stars and planets at the time a person was born. When someone says that their moon is in Taurus while their mercury is in cancer, this means that at the time they were born the moon and mercury were in that sign. This is why people who have the same sun sign, like me and my girlfriend, can be very different. Overall, we are both Geminis but when you look deeper into our birth chart you realize why there are other differences in us. While I am air and water dominant, she is air and earth dominant.
So, what does all of this mean? And why should anyone care? Well, with the help of my moderate knowledge of astrology and my relationship, I want to help others understand what they should be looking for in their partner’s chart. Disclaimer: like all things in life, astrology isn’t and should never be used to excuse certain behaviors, it just helps explain things. Also, take it with a grain of salt; this is meant to be fun and is honestly one of the main topics my girlfriend and I bond over.
The moon, which is ruled by Cancer, is the planet that deals with our inner emotions. It is on this planet and whichever placement we have that we learn what brings us comfort, security, and safety. Those with compatible moon signs, typically people who share the same element, build long-lasting relationships. For example, I have a Capricorn moon while my girlfriend has a Taurus moon. Many times, throughout our friendship, we found security in each other which allowed us to find comfort in a relationship. Now, I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I’d say that this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in and a lot of that comes from the fact that I find emotional and intimate safety in her. It is important that you are emotionally comforted and secure in a relationship. The reason these signs are so magnetic together and there’s so much compatibility is due to the fact that the elements have strong similarities that intertwine together, but differences that complement each other. For those with air moons, find one who is as intellectual as you. If your moon sign falls in the deep end with the emotional water placements, be sure that your partner is as sensitive and intuitive as you. And if you’re a hotheaded lover like most fire signs, find someone who’s just as passionate and spontaneous as you!
Your rising sign is how other people will view you and how they perceive you from first impressions. This sign is the exact opposite of the moon sign given the fact that opposites attract in this situation. In my own situation, my watery Scorpio rising and my girlfriend’s earthily Virgo rising are indeed opposites. While I may come with a strong personality that can be very dominating, my girlfriend brings a communicative and calming nature to our relationship. She’s the peace in the midst of my chaos which is why we work well together. I can’t forget to mention that she has two placements in her big three that belong to the planet Mercury so she’s big on communication. Now, our rising signs aren’t a 100% match because a better fit for a Scorpio rising is a Taurus rising and the best fit for a Virgo rising is a Pisces rising. This is where my expressiveness might combat her practicality. At times I can take her as being aloof while she may take me as moody. Like all relationships though we take to communicate through those rocky moments. The key takeaway is that most rising signs are most compatible with their sister sign, the sign opposite to them on the zodiac. These sister signs include Aries with Libras, Gemini with Sags, or Aries with Leos.
Outside of the “big three” Sun - Moon - Rising trinity, the other planets that need to be considered are Mercury, Mars, and Venus signs. Mercury is about how we communicate and use our rationale, Mars deals with aggressiveness, sensuality, and motivation, and Venus manages romance, beauty, and hedonism.
Luckily, both I and my girlfriend have our Mercury in Cancer! With both our mercurial placements we are able to understand each other’s emotional decisions and the rationale behind them. Sometimes communication between the two of us, whether a heated conversation or a loved one, will come with a lot of emotions. Thankfully, we’ve learned a thing or two about each other and know that once the emotions have been processed we can get to the more logical and realistic part of the conversations. Mercury in water signs is a slippery slope which is why it is important to have a handle on those communication skills. So, if you notice your partner being passionate and emotional, find the silver lining and never use “logic” to overpower them. Newsflash: it’s condescending and you’re probably not the healthiest partner in regard to that person. Communication needs to be nurtured over time in a relationship and it is no place to bring judgment or anger.
For fire signs, it is important you understand they’re going to be blunt and bold in what they have to say. For some people it may come off as rude, but if you are willing to make your relationship work, communicate to them how their bluntness makes you feel. After all, fire signs have good communication skills, and they will understand. The best communication skills shine on the earthy Virgo, but earth signs, in general, have a practical and grounded style of communication. Remember, they aren’t pessimists, they just want to find a solution to the problem. With air signs, especially Geminis, there is a witty and quickness to their communication style. Like Virgos, they have excellent skills in this area, but they tend to differ in delivery. A Gemini assesses the situation with a bit more emotion and they tend to have a heavy persuasive power on their side. Don’t take this as manipulation or as if they don’t take things seriously.
Love and Safety are very important in a relationship which is why having a cancer Venus and my partner having a Gemini Venus is advantageous to both of us. Most would say that problems would arise with the two very different signs and ways of expressing love, but I’d say we do an excellent job at managing our differences. The main reason we’re able to do this is because of our adaptable Gemini sun, but overall, our love languages actually complement each other. For example, while I am more expressive with my love, like buying her a star or writing her an entire poetry book with coloring pages, my partner is more of a stealthy lover.
She enjoys intellectually feeding me through books or teaching me new things I’ve never understood. My partner shows love through humor and intellect and doing so intertwines with my eccentric poetry. In this way, we both find a way to use words in a creative way to love each other. If your partner has a fire Venus sign, remember to bring on the intensity and passion. They tend to like a bit of the theatrics of it all. On the other hand, earth Venus signs find comfort in the sensual side of life and shared interest. When it comes to our earth signs, they are straightforward lovers and although it may seem discrete to the outside world, they can be explicitly romantic with their partner.
Taking a deep dive into my relationship and birth charts in general, think about your own partner’s birth chart! Or ask that new person in your life for theirs and see what you think. Also, It’s important to remember that any sign can work together; it just comes down to communication and effort. I promise this will be the last thing I say about my relationship, but two Geminis together do not create the perfect match. However, because we work to maintain our relationship and are consistently communicating with each other this builds compatibility. The best thing to come out of our relationship is the five pillars that always lead us out of any difficult situation: reciprocity, transparency, communication, vulnerability, and honesty.
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